Twitter and the Musky Man
by Moss Bliss
from "Tweeter and the Monkey Man" by Bob Dylan/Traveling Wilburys



Twitter and the Muskey Man were bargaining in cash
They stayed up all night using Maryjane and hash
With an unnamed spammer who was sitting in the can
For reasons mercenary, Twitter loved the Musky Man
Twitter was a social network rolling in the dough
And Musk bid 40 billion with another 4 to go
He said he could push freedom to the daily Twitter fold
But balked when he found spammers might be more than what was told
[Chorus]
And the trolls came 'round, rising up from hell
All the racists and seditionists
Were putting out a smell

The corporate board of Twitter never liked the Musky Man
But they really liked his money, and they’ll take it if they can
Musky tried to back out, 'cause he didn’t like the deal
But they sued the Musky Man and they tried to make him squeal
The trolls and spammers went berserk, confirming they were slime
They crashed into the Twitterspace with racial slurs and whines
The judge looked at the Musky Man and said "You’re such a liar:
"If you don't complete the deal, your cash is goin' in the fire."

[Chorus]

Musky inked the deal, then canned the board and half the crew
Including all the coders who knew what he had to do
He found he fired too many and he tried to hire some back
But the managers complained that these guys' work was just too slack
The folks who got laid off started action as a class
They needed 8 weeks notice or the law would smoke Musk's ass
The Musky Man just laughed and said, that farm you all just bought
Cause anything is legal as long as you don't get caught

[Chorus]

With Twitter losing cash and advertisers out the door
The Musky Man could see his reputation hit the floor
He started charging money for what used to be secure
And the trollers all lined up to pay, and posted much manure
The normal users looked around and found that half were gone,
A million of them left the site and went to Mastodon
The Musky Man said, "Wait a minute, if you don’t return,
"I’ll just file for bankruptcy and watch my money burn."

[Chorus]

With Twitter hanging on for life, and income in the tank
Musk wants his subscribers now to make up half the bank
Humor is declared as safe - unless you roasting him
And parody you must declare or find you’re off the sim
It only costs 8 dollars to be certified as real
Enjoy your First Amendment rights, if right wing thoughts appeal
Impostors running rampant, many stocks are tanking fast
And please turn out the lights if you exit the site last

[Chorus]x2

First draft 11/14/22

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